On Friday 17 August 2007, narcissedespres wrote:
> Thanks. My boyfriend's family is involved as well, which does make
> it even harder. I make no secret of the fact that I am not a fan of
> Quixtar, which he accepts, and it's a stance I haven't backed down
> on. I don't know where my relationship is going, but I refuse to let
> it be *the* defining aspect of our relationship. If it ends, it's not
> going to be because of this. His goals in joining Quixtar and being
> an "independent" business owner come from a good place, and I
> understand and commend those goals. I just can't get behind the way
> he is trying to meet them.
If the word of concept of independent is important to him, then that's
one way you can force him to reevaluate the situation. I often say an
IBO (I prefer IBDrone) is supposed to be an Independent Business Owner,
but there is no business because they don't have a legal entity
recognized as such by the government. It does not have the rights and
responsibilities of a legal business. That includes (unfortunately)
paying taxes, but also the ability to act as an entity on its own,
accepting responsibility as an entity instead of the members of the
business being responsible.
There goes the "B". There is no Business. So they're just an IO. But
if you look at it and look at the contract, their entire downline can
be taken from them by their upline. If they're about to break off and
their upline's profit will suddenly dip to a small percentage, the
upline can legally take it from him. True, they have to have a reason
and often it's ethics, but reasons can be invented. He won't believe
they can do that, but it can happen. If you've heard of a case of
anyone leaving that he once respect, that's a good leverage point.
Start asking more and more so he wonders if the booted person was
really breaking rules or was just booted for convenience. If he
contacts that person, he might find out a lot he doesn't want to know.
If you get an opening like that, then you can focus on that he does not
OWN this group he's built. It can be taken from him and he has nobody
to appeal to but those above him, which happen to be the same people
who would take his business for whatever reason and are the same people
that profit by taking his business.
So now there's no "O". Now ownership. If you own something, only the
government can take it from you through eminent domain. You don't own
what can be taken, but at least he has "I". Or does he? Does he
decide what products to sell? Does he make decisions on what goes on
sale, or do others tell him what to do? If there's a convention or
group meeting, can he go or not go, or is he under pressure to go? How
many decisions does he actually make? You and I know the answer: none.
They're all made by the upline who tells him what to do and how to
behave.
No "I".
And take that with all the puns and intended meanings you can. There is
no "I" in IBO, just a drone following instructions.
These are big points that you can use to start him thinking.
On the other hand, I do have my own business. It's legal, it pays
taxes, can make payments and do actions on its own. I decide what to
charge people, what I need to work on next, and how to handle
customers. I don't have an upline telling me what prices are and
what's on sale or how to package products. I can be flexible and adapt
to my customers needs instead of telling them how it's done. While
it's not always the case, I decide if I'm going to sleep all day and
work all night. I forward my home/office lines to my cell. Many times
I've been down by the river, walking the dog or sitting with the dog
reading Shakespeare or Harry Potter when I get a call form a client, I
respond, answer their questions, take what notes I have to, then hang
up and they think I'm in the studio and have no idea I'm sitting by the
river watching that woman in the bikini top and Daisy Dukes -- er, I
mean sitting by the river reading "Midsummer Night's Dream" and sipping
on ice cold water from my cooler as my dog lies curled up next to me.
Compare the two. Which is a true IBO?
Use those points for him, or ones like them to get him to think.
Also, and this is IMPORTANT, remember he won't want to give up one dream
without another, so get him thinking first about what kind of business
he could run if he were doing anything he wanted to. Then get him to
start thinking about that and dreaming about what he really wants to
do. When he has that in his head, that's when you start comparing the
possibilities of being an independent business man with the drone
they're teaching him to be.
Hal
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