--- In mlmsurvivorsclub@
I've heard
> (and I admit this is 2nd hand) stories of people around here where the
> police felt nothing could be done and left. There's also the issue of
> proving it in court. Many times someone can be arrested, released on
> bail, return to intimidate the witness because there's no restraining
> order, and then return for the court hearing and get off because,
> without medical records and testimony, it's a tough thing to prove.
Very true. I've also heard about the nightmare a friend had when she
tried to get custody of her kids from a physically and sexually
abusive husband. He used a tactic called "parental alienation", and
ended up getting full custody, even almost had her thrown in jail when
she spoke to her kids at a public event. The full story sounds so
unbelievable I'd think it was made up by an unstable person if all the
horrible details hadn't been confirmed by a lawyer who is close
friends with this woman and accompanied her to court. Search the term
and become familiar with it, in case your daughter's husband tries to
use this tactic, too.
I want to reinforce another of Hal's comments, that although your
daughter is teaching her daughter to go to abusive men, it's not your
fault that your daughter did. I grew up in a stable, non-abusive
family, but my first marriage was to a man who abused me mentally,
emotionally, and in very subtle ways physically. I wished sometimes
that he *would* hit me, so that I'd have a concrete reason to leave.
People like him (men and women) are such good manipulators that after
a while, you really don't know which way is up. It took me years of
therapy to get back to myself.
You've gotten good advice from everyone on this board. Hang in there.
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