My boyfriend was in Primerica for 7 years. For the first 3 years he
was making money then he lost it all.
When he was first having huge finical problems he wanted to sell his
house and move in with me. I said no. I wanted him to work for
someone else before he moved in. Well he had a sub prime mortgage
and needed to refinance, in order to do that he needed 3 paychecks.
So he worked hard to find a real job.
It took complete finical ruin to cause him to leave Primerica. He
still has not rejected Primerica completely. He says finical
services are not doing well that was the problem. I have noticed
that he is doing much better now that he is not going to meetings on
Wednesdays and Saturdays. He has confidence in his future and is
working hard to achieve his goals. Every so often he has a relapse
of reason and starts talking about Primerica "logic". I just nod.
I am proud that he has gotten away from Primerica. I just hope he
does not fall for the next scam. I have noticed the longer he stays
at the current job the more he sees the benefits. He has more time
off and he is fixing his house to sell it. Now he has the money to
make his house look nice. He is going to the doctors now and his
401K with the company is doing well.
It will probably take finical ruin to cause your "husband" to wake
up. My boyfriend has marketable skills, he just did not like
working for a large corporation. Now he works for a small company
that pays decently and he has a great chance for advancement. Your
husband could find a job elsewhere, he is probably afraid he does
not have the skills. You should point out he could get contract
jobs, build up his resume and then try for full time work.
--- In mlmsurvivorsclub@
<trekkiebear@
>
> After typing all this, I must begin with a warning. This post is
> hideously long.
>
> But it's true. Every word. It's as if I had to do this to purge
myself
> and assure myself that this nightmare has been real and that maybe,
> it's truly almost over.
>
> I have only posted to this forum twice before but I read here
often.
> You will never know how your words, your stories, your
encouragement
> and your advice have saved my sanity more than once.
>
> And in return, I offer you my terrible and very long story.
>
> My previous posts:
>
> Message# 39180 Aug 14, 2005
> Primerica is Killing Me
>
> Message# 40674 Nov 30, 2005
> After 2 years, he finally made some money. I'll probably leave him
now.
>
>
> As you see, it's been nearly two years since I last posted here. I
> went from reading the messages every day to every other month or so
> and then not at all. It's only when things go to hell in a
handbasket
> that I'm driven back to this forum as the only outlet for my pain,
my
> suffering, my outrage and my downright disappointment.
>
> First, I didn't leave him. I planned it and when I finally told
him my
> plan he begged me to stay. Truth to be told, I loved him - still
do -
> and I really didn't want to leave. I just wanted him to stop
> financially torturing us.
>
> I wish that I could say I found the strength to get him to quit or
> that I actually had the cajones to up and leave him, but I did
neither.
>
> One note, before I begin: We are not officially married but after
11
> years, I call him my husband because, simply, he is. Our story:
>
> In 2003, my husband, code name: Arnold, and I were looking up the
> number for our car insurance agent in the yellow pages. He happened
> across a listing for an old friend that he used to be in Primerica
> with. Before you could blink, he had called his old friend and
> reenlisted in the ranks with $199 that it would be two years
before I
> would see again.
>
> Now neither of us had ever been really good, or I should say,
> responsible with money. We were in our mid-20's and it was almost
like
> we were playing house. We'd get our paychecks and pay at least the
> rent and buy tons of groceries and whatever it took to keep the
lights
> or water or cable on and then we'd spend the rest at the movies or
> Wal-Mart or wherever. When we ran short, my mom or dad always
stepped
> in. We took our jobs for granted and we had some old debt that we
> never even thought about taking care of - student loans, old credit
> cards. We never realized that the jobs we had were real jobs that
> actually provided us with our living. We were waiting for the real
> jobs we though we deserved just for being 20 and having graduated
high
> school, both of us having dropped out of college for one reason or
> another before we ever met each other.
>
> We were living in the Clinton economy and we weren't doing half
bad.
> But as they say, a fool and his money are soon parted and we were
> definitely young and foolish.
>
> In the beginning I was skeptical but the promise of quick money and
> not a lot of time invested sounded ok to me. The words and acronyms
> they used sounded impressive to a 20-something who always went
> shopping the day before payday, writing checks so that they would
> clear right after my direct deposit. Things like "recruiting
ratios"
> and "buy term and invest the difference" seemed business-like and
> solid. I wasn't interested but Arnold entered into Primerica with
my
> blessing. Of course, you can't sell something you don't use
yourself,
> so our first Primerica sale was us. We bought life insurance.
>
> With a kid and the addition of two dogs to our family, we outgrew
our
> townhouse and rented an entire house and yard for not much more
than
> we were paying in rent, even the utilities were about the same.
Just
> before we moved was when he found his friend. A year later, he quit
> his job, cashed in his 401K to add to my income as I was still
> working. His plan was to have his Primerica business up and
running in
> three months. That was an eternity. More than enough time to
recruit
> and build and make at least 25 maybe even 50,000 or 100,000. The
sky
> was the limit and he would have all the time in the world to
devote to
> Primerica.
>
> Only he didn't. The first month, he went out every day. A shopping
> mall here, an office building there. I never really asked him how
he
> chose his recruiting or sales areas. Eventually he fell to sleeping
> later and going out later and sometimes not at all. He spent more
time
> doing chores around the house and somehow if I didn't cook dinner
then
> he had to and that wrecked his entire recruiting day. How could I
> expect him to build a business if he was stuck doing menial house
chores?
>
> The three months came and went. I had to borrow our house rent
from my
> mother who told me in no uncertain terms that she would not be
loaning
> us that much money again, she expected every penny back and that I
had
> better push Arnold to get a job.
>
> And I did. I told him it had been humiliating asking my mother for
> that much money (over $700 when I usually asked for only 50 or 100
> bucks). I told him that she would never loan us our rent money
again
> and he had to get a job. He applied everywhere and I scoured the
> papers. Nowhere I suggested was good enough. He was determined to
find
> a job that would give him the time to still work the business.
>
> Exasperated and afraid of eviction, I kept pushing him to go back
to
> any place that seemed hopeful and that was how he wound up working
at
> Target. He made enough money to help me pay rent but we lived broke
> most of that winter. The New Year seemed promising as New Year's
> always do but that year was to be our year of hell.
>
> First, my father who had smoked since he was 14 but had hardly a
sick
> day in his life became ill. He'd been ill for a while but he was so
> strong it was a year before we realized how bad it was. When he was
> finally diagnosed with cancer, he did chemo for a while but it was
too
> late. He died in the next April.
>
> I was depressed and moody as the Spring moved into Summer and I was
> not a happy person to be around. I got a second job, working part-
time
> as a church secretary and although it was stressful working two
jobs,
> working for the church actually brought a measure of peace into my
> life. Even so, towards the end of June I had a blow up with another
> co-worker at my full time job and in another month I was fired. My
> depression worsened and I couldn't seem to find the energy to get
> another full-time job or to even do any of the summer
housecleaning I
> had planned. Besides, I was still working for the church and so it
> wasn't as though I wasn't bringing in any money. We had survived
on less.
>
> One night I woke up in severe pain. At the emergency room I found
out
> I as pregnant but even that was not to be. It was an ectopic
> pregnancy. I was frightened and terribly sad. After the surgery and
> hospital stay, I went to my mother's to recover since she had a one
> floor plan house and blessedly, air conditioning, which our two
story
> didn't have. One day after work, Arnold came by to tell me the
> electricity had been turned off.
>
> Oddly enough, this was one of the few bills I had actually paid.
As it
> turned out, the people we were renting the house from had been
> informed by the electric company that the outside wiring was not
up to
> code. They were given 90 days to fix it, but they hadn't and the
> electricity had been turned off.
>
> A family member was an electrician and agreed to do the repairs
> himself and we decided we would take it out of our rent. However
the
> following week a foreclosure notice was posted to the door. The
last
> six months that we had been paying the landlords rent, they had not
> been paying the mortgage.
>
> We were given 30 days. I was ill and would only be returning to a
part
> time job. Arnold's job at Target was barely getting us by.
>
> So at the age of 35 with my man, my kid and my two dogs, I moved
back
> in with my mother.
>
> That was two years ago this past August. In the mean time I have
had
> to endure his constant optimism with Primerica. He truly believed
that
> any moment he would somehow make it with this company and that all
our
> worries would be over the minute he becomes a $50,000 earner or a
> $100,000 earner. The sky is the limit and one day he will show us
all
> that he was right to do this, to stick with it and never give up
> because the money is there. He just has to make it.
>
> It's two years later and we still live with my mother.
>
> I went back to my part time job at the church just three weeks
after
> my surgery because we just couldn't make it without the money. I
> worked that job and only that job because it allowed me to work at
own
> pace and get better. That January I started a relentless campaign
to
> get Arnold to quit Primerica and find another job that was not
Target.
>
> He would not budge. Didn't I see that the only way out of our
> situation was the business? Did I want him to be a wage slave all
his
> life?
>
> I could not change him, so I changed myself. The church had been
> pressuring me to take on more of their accounting. I was a darned
good
> office administrator and wedding coordinator but I am no
accountant. I
> took that as a sign it was time to go and even thought I loved that
> job, I left it and started temping so I could work my way into a
full
> time job.
> After several false starts, I finally found a permanent job at a
school.
>
> Arnold became miserable at Target. He had to be at work at 4 am and
> although he was scheduled to work until 12 noon, he sometimes
didn't
> get home until well after 3 or 4 pm. The hours that he had once
loved
> so much because they "left him time to do the business" suddenly
> didn't any more. He gained an ungodly amount of weight and his
> breathing always sounded so labored.
>
> With my employment secure, I began a daily campaign to get him to
> leave Target and it worked. A friend he had worked with there had
> gotten a job as a driver and tried to bring Arnold along, but
Arnold
> had turned him down. I called his friend on the sly and begged him
to
> help me get Arnold a job there too. Arnold had tried to recruit
this
> friend into Primerica as well but he hadn't taken the bait. But he
> more than understood my desperation and somehow, between the two of
> us, we got Arnold to actually apply for the job and his friend made
> sure he got it.
>
> No sooner than Arnold got that job, I lost mine. Restructuring and
> cutbacks left me as the last hired, the first fired. Fortunately,
my
> employers thought the world of me and were sad to see me go. They
left
> me with glowing recommendations and have acted as my professional
> references for anyone who called. I wasn't working, but I was
eligble
> for unemployment so things still weren't as bad as they could have
been.
>
> Even so, I spent this past summer unemployed. Lots of places were
> taking applications but few were actually hiring. I hustled my ass
> off. I took to bootleg cab driving, trolling grocery stores and
> picking up women with children who needed a ride in exchange for a
few
> bucks. I started a desktop publishing business out of my home,
making
> business cards, flyers, numbered tickets, invitations and all
sorts of
> things for friends and family. In one month I made nearly as much
as
> Arnold has his entire time in Primerica. Combined with my
> unemployment, we were able to send our daughter to all her summer
> activities and trips and still get by.
>
> He was the one who started comparing my business earnings to his
own.
> He did it as a joke at first because I only made $40 here and $60
> there. But as the checks kept coming and I got few regular clients
> with the desktop publishing and even the driving, he started to get
> jealous. Here I was actually making money with my side hustles,
while
> it had been months since we had seen a Primerica check and that had
> nearly precipitated our break up.
>
> I took a job as a rental manager that didn't work out and just
today,
> I got word that one of the places I applied and interviewed with
this
> summer will hire me. I have orientation on Thursday and it's a real
> job with a contract, a salary and benefits and my commute will be
five
> minutes from my home.
>
> There is light at the end of my tunnel.
>
> But there is shadow in that sunshine and its name is Primerica.
>
> He hates his driver job for one thing. His complaint? At least at
> Target, his hours allowed him to work the business. This job just
gets
> in his way. Oh, he knows it's an easy job, but there are "other
> people" who make his job complicated. It's never him, it's always
others.
>
> He has the potential for a lot of overtime on this job. He could
make
> enough that we could save up and maybe even move out of my mother's
> home. Especially as I'm not working. But he insists having Tuesdays
> free so that he can "have at least one day" to go prospecting and
go
> to op-night. There's also the Saturday morning meeting that he
cannot
> miss, although he will miss a ton of family events to make it.
>
> He busted his ass to work overtime to go the Primerica convention
this
> summer in Atlanta. Yet he complains about working overtime for our
> family. It's horrendously aggravating and it's only that I love
him so
> much that I've put up with this sh*t so far. He came back like he'd
> been to a religious revival with new faith in the business, new
faith
> in himself and with a new brainwashing slogan: Your family and
friends
> don't want you to succeed. They'd rather see you work a regular job
> than be successful in your own business.
>
> No matter the claptrap he spouts, I refuse to argue. Once I did,
but
> never again.
>
> Back when he did his tally up of my "hustle" earnings, we had a
major
> row. One of the few we've had considering the circumstances.
>
> The end result was that we made the following bargain:
>
> Each month we spend approximately $120 on Primerica. We subscribe
to
> Primerica Life Insurance and Primerica Prepaid Legal. He has some
> Primerica internet do-dads that they charge him for each month and
> altogether it costs us about $120 - $130.
>
> I told him that I would give him until January of 2008 to, in any
> given month, make as much in one month as we spend on Primerica.
If he
> can't, he has to quit. If he won't, then I will quit him and I will
> not look back this time and there will be no reconciliation.
>
> As for me, I figure it's win-win. If he actually quits, he may be
> depressed for a while, but I can help overcome that. If he doesn't
> quit, then he loves this fictional business more than me and I'm
well
> rid of him.
>
> And if he actually makes some money, then all to the good, but the
> likelihood of that happening after all this time - well, like the
song
> says, time is on my side. Yes it is.
>
> We made our deal in July. It's September and he hasn't made a dime.
>
> Time, will truly tell.
>
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