MLM Survivors Club: [MLM Survivors Club] Re: Melalueca

Saturday, January 5, 2008

[MLM Survivors Club] Re: Melalueca

--- In mlmsurvivorsclub@yahoogroups.com, Hal Vaughan <hal@...> wrote:
>
> On Saturday 05 January 2008, jennasknnr wrote:
> > --- In mlmsurvivorsclub@yahoogroups.com, Hal Vaughan <hal@> wrote:
> > > On Saturday 05 January 2008, jennasknnr wrote:
> > > > --- In mlmsurvivorsclub@yahoogroups.com, Hal Vaughan <hal@> wrote:
> > > > > Do you really honestly believe that you shouldn't be a product
> > > > > of the product, no one it takes like (I guess you mean, knowing
> > > > > what it
> > > >
> > > > tastes like?), feels like, actually does?
> > > >
> > > > I just have to be a smart-alec here and say, "What the heck does
> > > > this sentence mean?" It sounds good, but how can you be a product
> > > > of the product? Is the product making you something? I'm not
> > > > going to even bother with logic on this.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Well, my kid certainly took this point to heart. He is about 6
> > > > feet tall and maybe 130 pounds..not that he doesn't tend to be
> > > > thin, but he lives on energy bars and energy drinks and more
> > > > Quixtar crap. His skin is a total wreck, since he will only use
> > > > "his products". He has to buy these things and use them, I think
> > > > he is the only customer he has. I'm praying that he paid his
> > > > first rent on the 1st. He usually doesn't have an extra dime
> > > > left over after he buys the over inflated products he sells.
> > >
> > > He might actually be better off if he didn't pay his rent. The
> > > sooner he runs into trouble, the sooner he'll realize it just isn't
> > > working. I'm not saying this to be mean, but if he can keep paying
> > > all the bills, he might not see how successful he could be if he
> > > dropped it.
> > >
> > > Hal
> >
> > Then he'd be back on my doorstep. He will not be allowed back in
> > this house if he continues to stay involved with Quixtar. But it is
> > terrifying to think of my kid living in his car or something. God
> > know he has nowhere to go. He has burned all of his bridges.
>
> As I said, I'm not trying to be cold or unfeeling. I've seen a lot of
> problems like this, including dealing with an alcoholic in my own
> family who didn't "wake up" until literally waking up one morning in a
> psych ward in an area of town she thought was the local ghetto
> (actually, it has some nice houses there, including some pre-Civil War
> historical sites that I managed as a landlord at one point and it's
> also not far from St. John's Church where some guy gave some speech
> about liberty or death). The key point was waking up in a perceived
> ghetto and realizing she was being treated like everyone else in the
> ward.
>
> The sad truth is people in addictive situations or who are in some form
> of denial, as is the case with your son, just have to hit bottom before
> they change. Bottom is different things for different people. For my
> relative, it was waking up in what she thought was the ghetto. The
> more trouble your son has financially while in QS, the faster he'll be
> likely to hit bottom. If he has to come back to you, then he's ready
> to listen to you. Just don't take an "I told you so" attitude and use
> questions to get him to realize what's going on instead of telling him.
>
> For example, if he loses his apartment, ask, "But what about your
> friends? You've told me that they're completely behind you. Don't
> they believe in you and QS enough to let you rent from them for the
> time it'll take before you can afford your own place?
>
> > BTW, what the heck does dichotomy mean??
>
> Two sides to the issue, or two parts. I was using it because there is
> often a split in MLM members where they will say something like, "It
> beats working for a living," then the next minute say, "I don't mind
> hard work." In this case it's also a contradiction.
>
> Hal
>
I absolutely do not see you as cold or unfeeling....and your advice is
invaluable to me. I know all about hitting bottom. As an ACA I
watched my father drown himself in gin.

I am working very hard on not being judgmental with him, and I don't
do the I told you so routine. One thing I have learned from this site
is to "walk gently". Even though I went about this the wrong way in
the beginning, I am really trying to listen to the wisdom I have read
here and do things differently.

Jenna

PS Ohhhhh, die/cot/o/me.....I just did not recognize the spelling.