Hi Krissy,
You are welcome. I have interspersed my comments below.
Krissy <surreal_44@yahoo.
I'm glad for the warm response. :-) I'm sure you can imagine how
earth-shattering this whole thing has been for me.
I was hesitant to name the scam because I wasn't entirely sure it was
allowed, but here it goes: It's Amway/Quixtar/
which is short for "Leadership Team Development"
My friend keeps trying to convince me that LTD is not just a part of
Quixtar, but so far I haven't found it to be involved with anything
other than it.
<MICK>
It is, indeed, Amway. The fact that either your friend is lying about it or is swallowing the lie being told to her is proof enough that there is something very wrong with this. What sort of "opportunity' is afraid to say what it is part of?
</MICK>
I did force a conversation with her last night. It went rather like an
intervention. She still doesn't believe me, but I managed to plan
doubts in her mind about the whole thing.
She started to tell me that I couldn't possibly understand, and I
said, "Why, because I'm not in the Business? Did you get upline
counseled to say that to me, or did your mentor tell you to say it?"
Well, that sure gave her pause. How did I know about that? I told her
that I can do the whole lingo thing, I know what it is, and I
explained in further detail what will be expected of her, and that as
far as I could see, this "LTD" thing is NOT a member of the BBB as
they claim. Or maybe it's Quixtar claiming it; I don't know, I haven't
been to a meeting, nor will I go to one.
<MICK>
PW has a very good posting he throws into conversations like this which really does have a lot of bearing on your situation.
The argument is not between you and your friend, it is between you and her upline. And her upline is more experienced and much more professional than you are. Your best bet is just to ask very simple questions that your friend will have to look around to find the answers for. Don't accuse, don't argue, just ask.
</MICK>
She told me that she didn't want to hear my negativity. Isn't that
another catch-phrase of these groups? Anyone who doesn't support them
is negative? She said those were her own words, but it sure sounded
like a scripted response.
<MICK>
Yes, that is a preprogrammed response. Anything which 'attacks' the program is 'negative'. And 'negative' is bad. It is a psychological way of getting the mark (your friend) to put her fingers in her ears and hum loudly any time you say anything which points out how bad this thing is.
</MICK>
Anyway, she says she hasn't paid anything into this so far, but she's
already been taught to redefine (I think that was the word) her
shopping habits by shopping for things on Quixtar instead of in shops.
<MICK>
She is telling porkies. To have 'redefined' means she must have placed an order. In order to even be an IBO she has to have paid money and in order to "qualify" she must have placed an order.
It may well be that she is using the semantic argument that she is not "paying money in" but is merely "buying from herself". But the truth is, she is out of pocket already and it's going to get worse and worse. It is also one more "brick in the wall' - the more she tells little fibs to advance the "program" the more she entangles herself in it.
</MICK>
She was even trying to get me to buy things; she was telling me about
how great the detergent is and how all her things look new. I was
like, "Dude you are a walking commercial." I finally appeased her by
saying I would consider going to a meeting with her, and that I'd be
her customer,
<MICK>
BIG MISTAKE. You just proved her upline correct. Her upline and all the others have been telling her that "no" is just a step on the way to "yes'. You said no, she persisted and now you have said "maybe".You have got to steel yourself on this - do not support this thing, you are just going to be an enabler which will keep her in it longer.
Firmly but politely have nothing at all to do with this.
</MICK>
but I steered the conversation away into more pleasant
things. She kept trying to bring up "the Business", but I always shot
back with some of my knowledge from the Net and she'd get really quiet.
<MICK>
I would advise against this approach. You have opened up the floodgates by telling her that you might be interested. Her upline and her fellows are busy telling her to close the deal, to get you on board, overcome your objections and so on.
Personally I think you would be better off just telling her that the subject is too difficult and that you would much rather remain friends and talk about something else.
She is going to need a fried when the ice melts beneath her feet.
</MICK>
I know it seems mean, but I can't help myself. I won't let our
friendship go so easily, and she's not going to get me to roll over
and be quiet on this issue. She'll eventually have to choose, I'm
afraid -- and I'm not sure, based on what I've seen so far, if she'll
have the ability to break free on her own, or until she can't make any
money.
<MICK>
FWIW - don't lose your friend over this and don't let her lose you. She is bewildered and blinded by all the glitz and promises. Just be a friend, don't get involved AT ALL! and just be someone she can talk to.
It's going to be rough. Your friend may never know what you have gone through for her - but we will.
Mick
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