On Thursday 20 March 2008, tyler rampling wrote:
> To be gentle and yet direct, that is a trick I have not mastered. It
> does sound as if you have a bit of a fantasy going here. You don't
> know if you will make it, you understand the things we are saying,
> you agree with what we are saying, even up to a point, but you are
> still holding out hope that you will "Make it" in your mlm. I am not
> really sure what you are looking for.
I have to agree with this completely. When I saw this first post come
through, I waited, not knowing just what to say because it's not clear
just what's going on.
I will make a point I learned years ago: whatever the truth is, you're
going to have to face it sooner or later, so it might as well be
sooner. It may be painful, but it's less pain than what you'll hit
later. For example, my ex-girlfriend was sure she was going to be
running her own business and be a millionaire in QS in a few years. I
haven't heard a single bit of news about her success yet and that was
back in 2004. Meanwhile, in the time since then, my business has done
well and my net worth at this point is definitely more than she's ever
made in her life from any job, by an order of several factors. I'm
saying this not to brag but because it plays a part in this and as a
reminder that we can all "make it" on our own, no matter what the MLMs
tell us.
Dawn (what we'll call my ex-gf) loved to design dresses for things like
SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms) and to make jewelry. She
majored in Interior Design because she figured she could make a living
at it. She is, literally, a genius, but she was so unsure of herself
that she didn't think she could ever make a living doing what she
loved. She had a low paying job (I'm guessing she was making $15,000
to $16,500 a year) doing the cable routing plans for a construction
company and she hated it. She was scared to death of spending the next
40 years of her life working 9-5.
One time she said she believed it because it had to work since nothing
else would. Parse that carefully. She basically believed it because
if it wasn't true, in her mind, she had to face 40 years of 9-5. Her
belief had nothing to do with whether it was a good business model, but
with her fear of having to live the life they painted as so terrible.
Sooner or later she's going to have to face the truth: She can keep
going and spinning her wheels, making the prospects for her life worse
by spending more and more money. If so, at some point she'll be deep
in debt, no more credit cards, and not able to continue in QS. When
that happens, she'll have no choice but to drop out and she'll not only
have a job she hates, but a mountain of debt to pay off.
Or she could have, at any point, accepted that "if it is to be, it is up
to me," and developed a plan to decide what she wanted to do with her
life and started working toward it. If she had started focusing on
trying to turn the jewelry and dress work into a business, she might be
making enough now to live off it.
Sooner or later you've got to face the truth. While sooner can be
painful, it's a LOT less painful than later.
...
> Personal growth can be done through other
> organisations and won't cost you what mlm will.
That is a much needed to be made point. MLMs cost a lot. While they
can build up self esteem, they also tear it down in other ways. People
here who were in them have taken years, in some cases, to recover
emotionally. There are many other ways to build up self esteem. One
thing I did a while back was to take on one of the scariest challenges
I figured I'd ever face. I'm a serious klutz so I started taking
ballroom dancing lessons. I'm actually getting compliments that I'm
learning how to lead quite well. It wasn't a quick change, but it
makes me feel quite good about myself.
There's also other self help groups just tackling things you want to
learn and aren't sure you can, or groups like Toastmasters.
> My mom used to
> justify here mlm fixes as a time to socialize with like minded
> people, etc. The only problem was that it cost her many thousands of
> dollars and a few real relationships.
And in that case, like-minded means people that hate a lot of their
lives and think they're going to be rich soon.
> Please also remember this, if
> you do make it "BIG" in mlm, it will also come at a personal cost to
> you, as well as your family, as well as the thousands who have to
> lose money in order for you to make it. Good Luck and I hope you
> don't sell your soul.
I tried that once. Almost lost a fortune! The exchange rate between
the U.S. and hell is terrible.
Hal
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