Lori,
I have to tell you that I am sorry, first off, that your relationship with your grandmother isn't a good one. But, please understand that it may have absolutely NOTHING to do with her being part of an MLM. My own mother sounds a LOT like your grandmother.
But, my mother is an ANTI-MLM person. She has NEVER been part of an MLM, and will never be. She has always hated that I took/take part in them. So, if your grandmother a miserable person, it's not JUST because she's part of MLM's. Although I will admit that many MLM's will create a mode of thinking that is very similar to what your grandmother and my mother possess with regard to thinking that THEIR way is the only way, and that no one else knows what they're talking about.
As far as the "I don't want to put him in a nursing home; I want to take care of him" thing. All I can say is that maybe a little more compassion is necessary here. I'm not saying that he shouldn't be put into a home (I am no medical professional and have never met this person and know nothing about him). But, I will tell you that most older adults, who have spent most of their lives with their spouse will fight tooth and nail to keep their aging or sick spouse OUT of a home. It's not necessarily that she's some money-grubbing person. I think it's sad to think that that's the ONLY reason she wants him to stick around! I would have to believe that on some level, there is at least SOME love there for her husband and maybe there's a part of her that thinks she can't live without him.
I've only been with my own husband for 17 years, which is probably much shorter than the length of time your grandmother has been with her husband. If something happened to him tomorrow that incapacitated him, you can be damned sure that I would do EVERYTHING in my power to care for him myself. Of course if it got to the point that his care required 24/7 medical care that was way beyond my ability, then it would have to happen. And I would hope that he feels the same way about me.
As far as claiming bankruptcy and being in huge debt, yes, unfortunately debt is a common biproduct of taking part in MLM structures. But, I also know MANY people who have claimed bankruptcy over the years who have never been part of any kind of MLM. So, again, it can't be completely blamed on MLM ventures. Not handling money well is a personality trait, a bad habit, and sometimes and addiction, which should not be taken lightly.
I'm not professional counselor, but it sounds like you have a lot of bitterness toward your grandmother and hurt/sadness/
I guess my point is that those traits you describe can't be completely blamed on the fact that she's an MLM kind of girl. I think there's probably more to it than that, but, I can definitely see where some of it can be linked to that.
You can only put up with so much, I know. This kind of thing can really zap all your energy. Hang in there.
Terra
Lori Crandall <iamasingertoo@
Hi All,
I don't post very often, but I recently had an issue come up that I want to
share. My grandmother has been involved with MLM's my whole life. She is
big into Forever Living Products and has pushed Pycnogenol, and a ton of
other products and comanpanies. She does these "businesses" full time.
Over the years I've seen big checks but they've always gone right back in
the business and she's acted as if she doesn't have any money. She's
declared bankruptcy once, and almost again, but refinanced her house
instead. Her debt that time was 60,000 dollars. No joke.
Well, as most of you already know her personal behavior over the years
(she's 83 now) has been totally MLM. If you have had something bad happen
to you, don't go talk to her about it. She only wants positive uplifting
things in her life. If you have a friend who is going through a hard time,
dump them as any negative energy will stop your flow of "success". I've
tried over the years to have a normal relationship with her on some level,
but as of last night I'm done. The MLM cult has won. Her husband is very
elderly, has dementia and isn't always a pleaure to be around. It's been
like this for a long time. I suggested to her putting him in a home so she
could be a bit more free to do what she wants to do. She wrote back a
scathing email yelling at me that she "wants" to take care of him and that
is best and it's her choice yadda, yadda, yadda. Frankly, I think she
enjoys the 2000 bucks she gets from his pension when he is living with her
that she would lose if she put him in a home that would actually be better
for him. It's all about her and the pursuit of money and how it all looks.
She puts 3 handfuls of "supplements" into her mouth 3 times a day. She goes
through Hundreds of dollars a month just on herself and her husband. For
products that are supposed to change your life, she has a bad hip and
terrible sleep apnea. So, I guess they aren't working. Oh, she's also on
an anti depressent for "heart" issues. She says she just can't relax.
Hmmm, wonder why.
I'm finally to the point that I want nothing to do with her. Everything out
of her mouth is a judgement. Everything has to be "the grass is green and
the sky is blue". She can't be real about ANYTHING and she refuses to see
anything else in her life that is real and that needs real attention.
Relationships seem to be worthless to her unless she is convincing them
about how great her products are. Ugh. Bye grandma, I'm just over this and
I'm over you. What a tradgedy.
I hate MLM's. They take over a person and then they alienate whole
families. They are just like an oranized religion...taken to the extreme,
they take completely over.
Thanks all.
Lori
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