On Friday 14 September 2007, Vicki wrote:
> You are welcome for the "swift kick in the butt". My words don't
> come from this specific type of problem, but through realtionship
> problems in general. I spent far too much time and energy in bad
> relationships. And you are in a bad relationship. Period. All the
> promises to change in the world are not going to make a difference.
> Time has shown you that.
>
> When I got involved with an alcoholic drug abuser, a friend who
> happened to be a substance abuse counselor TOLD ME that the only way
> my fiance was going to change was to hit rock bottom on his own...
> Meaning I would have to leave him. His promises to me were empty
> ones because I was stying by his side while he did these things. He
> never got better even though he promised. After wasting 5 years of
> my life on him, it finally came to an end. It was heartbreaking the
> way it ended, I did seek counseling for myself to make sure I
> handled myself well, and now that he is not in my life, things are
> sooooo incredibly better.
>
> It IS similar because he has an addiction. To get rich. He won't
> admit that he has a problem. Until something happens that makes him
> SEE his problem, he won't see it. He will probably have to lose
> you, become homeless, file for bankruptcy, and possible land himself
> in jail for failing to pay child support before he cleans up his act.
>
> It's not pretty, but sometimes when you love someone, you have to
> let them go and let them fall.
>
> And you can't go back. If you go back, you risk falling back into
> the same trap.
>
> Good luck. And if you think you may not have the strength to follow
> through, go seek counseling. They can help you gain the strength
> you need to start over.
>
> Please start over.
Vicki has said a lot of what I could have said but didn't want to sound
like a broken record. After the time I spent working in residential
treatment, I learned all of this and more, but I had already said so
much and have said close to what Vicki has said so many times, I just
left it out, but I'll second everything she has said in this post.
She knows what she is saying.
Hal
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