Joe, In my experience that is not what uplines do nor what they are
about. I have seen uplines say and do what is necessary to keep you
playing the game and that might include telling someone what you are
suggesting, but I don't think they are actually trying to "help her
escape".
Kelly,
I have been following your story with my heart breaking for you, but
haven't offered anything because you have gotten such wonderful advice
from others.
However, based on this email between you & your daughter that you
shared, I think I might have something to offer you. You have worked
hard at maintaining a relationship with your daughter and have shown
yourself to be a caring mom that wants to be supportive of your
daughter and you have shown it to her. Though it is important to ask
questions that make the MLM victim find their "light bulb moment", it
is also important to ask them the questions in a way that they might
actually answer them. Your daughter's "none of your business" response
is very, very typical when they feel someone is trying to be
"negative" about the business. In my opinion, the way to go about
asking the questions that others have advised you to ask is to "show
an actual interest in the business". You have already stated that you
would show support by attending a meeting; she has stated that she
feels that you & dad will benefit "the most" from what she has to
offer. OK, that's good! Tell her you are willing to consider giving it
a shot and want her to come spend an afternoon "helping" you with it.
Then it is just you & her talking about the business. Have a notepad
and ask the questions that others have told you to ask, but do it in
an interested way, not a "you don't see the light" way.
You ask start up costs, you ask "training" costs, you ask how much
product you need to sell/buy to keep going, ask about the training
meetings and where they are and how much they cost and how often they
are held. You write all of this down while asking. You work your way
up to asking how much your daughter is netting. Now, you will probably
get the pat answer of "you make as much money as you want depending on
the effort you are willing to put forth". That's fine. You say that
you want to be AS SUCCESSFUL AS SHE IS so you want to do the business
just like her, so make her tell you exactly what she does so you can
do it too! You are writing all of this down while she is telling you.
At the end, you can show her the paper and say: "but, but, but......it
doesn't look like your are.........
NOT look at the paper and say: "by jove mom! I think you were right!",
but she WILL have fodder for thought to take away with her. It takes
time, but once the seed of doubt is planted, it only takes one little
mistake from the upline to cement it. My upline made the mistake of
telling me I should re mortgage my home after investing nearly $10,000
in the business. The business wasn't working though I was doing
everything I was told and had a drawer full of pins and was very close
with my downline and was honored several times for my
"accomplishments"
draining my investment and making me help others to jump into the pit
with me. That is guilt I will never overcome. I told them what they
needed to hear and told others that questioned it pretty much what
your daughter is telling you. You have to get on the INSIDE in order
to communicate. As long as you are on the outside, in any way, you are
going to be one of the jealous, negative people that don't want others
to succeed more than you did.
So, that's my buck minus 98 cents. Take it as you will. I just think
that the only way you are going to get her to take an honest look is
if you do it from the inside, not as the evil mom that is jealous
(which, I assure you, she is being told). Once she starts doubting the
MLM, maybe she will begin seeing her husband and in-laws in a new
light as well. One can hope!
Good luck and please keep us posted.
--- In mlmsurvivorsclub@
>
> Quixtar may be giving your
> daughter something positive (in her mind) to focus on. It might even
> be possible that she sees the financial promises of Quixtar as an
> eventual escape route.
>
> These are all just guesses, of course, and they may all be totally
> off-base. Please continue to keep us updated
>
> I agree that quixtar could quite possible help your daughter with self
> esteem issues....I will go out on a limb and say that the time
away/or with a
> group of people with her husband is a positive step toward self
care. I haven't
> read every post, but does anyone know if her "upline" is trying
to help
> her become independent of her husband without anyone finding out...
ie.
> us...or her husband or mom. Mom, if you knew someone was helping
her would you
> be as aggressive as you are now. Probably not. The husband just
might think
> that something is going on behind his back and try to keep her from
seeing
> these people. Tell your daughter that you love her but just not
interested in
> Quixtar...She will find out in her own time. Let her make her
mistakes
> now, not 10, 20, or 30 years from now.
>
>
> Ducking and running for cover!!! Joe
>
>
>
> ************
all-new AOL at
> http://discover.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
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