My girlfriend escaped an abusive 12-year marriage three years ago. The turning point for her deciding not to go back occurred once she took her mom's advice and entered a program at the local crisis center for women. They gave her a diagram referred to as the "power and control wheel." At least, that's what she called it. I'm not sure what support entity originally devised it (although there's contact info on this particular diagram), but it's quite the eye-opener to someone fully indoctrinated by an abusive spouse.
I managed to find a PDF version posted here:
http://www.duluth-
It's about a 1.6MB download, so it may take a bit to load in.
I don't suggest you initially do anything with this tool other than educate yourself. It should be used in a professional setting with qualified counselors for willing participants. What you should realize by looking at the diagram is that this behavior pattern is clearly defined and documented by pros who deal with these people on a routine basis.
Good luck.
Mark
Fort Smith, AR
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