At 09:07 PM 7/16/2007, gardeningkelly wrote:
>Then this is what I finally wrote back with some advice from my
>readings:
>
>I'm glad we talked today, and that you know I am and always have
>been and always will be proud of you. I don't like Quixtar, but
>I'll always be your mom and I will always love and support you.
>It's just an emotional rollercoaster for me, and I think for you
>too, as you have loyalty to Quixtar and (his)family. But I do see
>you drawing away and shutting me out of your life sometimes, in
>subtle ways that only I could probably ever perceive, and it's very
>difficult for me because I love you so very much. I think that your
>trying to have success with Quixtar is like trying to paint a
>sinking ship, and that it uses mind control promotional methods
>designed to keep pople from thinking critically, which is what I'm
>all about- thinking for yourself, and not believing everything you
>hear- that's what nurses are good at. But that said, I do know that
>there are good sides to Quixtar too. The Amway products are very
>good products for the most part, and I will continue to use the ones
>I like. From what I hear, they have really good customer service
>and a good return policy. Quixtar has taught you to dream, and it
>has given you some good positive thinking concepts. It has made you
>aware of lots of self help and family building resources, and you
>and (husband) have made some good friends and contacts, and I count
>alot of those people as my friends too. I would prefer that you
>find a way to build your dreams on a more stable foundation, and
>knowing how great you and (the husband)both are, I can not only
>imagine but KNOW the two of you could accomplish really great things
>if you put those dreams and positive attitudes and hard work and
>time into your own business, verses someone else's, who's ethics are
>both nationally and internationally questioned. So anyway, this is
>what I should have said to you if I were less exhausted and
>emotional when I wrote that e-mail. I love you dearly, I love
>(husband), and I love (grandchild) more than you can ever imagine,
>and I'm proud of you and (husband) for the good people you are, and
>I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart for how I said the
>words to you in the e-mail. Your talking to me today made me feel
>much better, and I will feel free to talk to you about my fears and
>misgivings more often if I need to, and of course, I'll be happy to
>attend a meeting with you sometime and go and support you and
>(husband) when you become silver. (Is that the right color/) :)
>Love, mom
>
>SO- QUESTION- SHOULD I EVER ATTEND A MEETING? (DON'T REALLY WANT
>TO). Any advice is appreciated.
>The mom
This is basically the tact I took when my own beautiful daughter got mixed up in Quixtar. However, I NEVER attended any meetings. She asked me once and I frankly told her, "Do you really want ME to attend one of your meetings?" She thought about it for one second knowing that I was not completely in favor of her Quixtar business and knowing what an outspoken person I am, she said, "No that's fine" (she didn't want me to embarrass her at a meeting, I guess... heh heh). I was very lucky. My daughter did not cut me or her father out of her life and she never threatened to do so. (Guess she really knew which side her bread was buttered on. ;) ) She also never cut any of her friends out who did not decide to join her in her Quixtar quest either. So, today, now that she's out of Quixtar she still has us and her friends, who always stood beside her through thick and thin. However, she has none of those "Quixtar friends", who professed their love for her while she was in the business, and then dropped her like a hot potato when she decided to get out.
Why did she decide to get out, you ask? One day she called me, in tears, because she was so deep in debt she could no longer make her payments. I can remember her crying on the phone about how she was going to have to sell her car (which she had just gotten not too long before) and get a cheaper one because she didn't have enough money to make the payments. Now, this is a college graduate with a good paying job. I told her I would be glad to help her out with one caveat, she had to give up Quixtar and give them no more money. I explained that how could I give her money, if she was just going to turn around and give it to Quixtar? I told her I just couldn't do that. She agreed and that was the beginning.
Today she's back to school working on her Masters' Degree and she's met a very nice young man and is planning a future with him. Quixtar moves farther and farther into her past. I am relieved.
I wish you the best with your daughter. I know how hard and painful it is to watch them make mistakes when you aren't able to help them. But, always remember, she is your daughter and you love her. That's what kept me going when my own daughter got mixed up in the Quixtar cult.
Best to you always,
RoseLea
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